


The Unexpected Perks Of Mountain Dew Red

by time_fliestime_dies



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: BLEASE FUCKIN MURDER ME, I DONT HAVE A PISS KINK I SWEAR, I WROTE IT FOR MY BRO ANAULAK ITS A J O KE, ITS A JOKE I SWEAR, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 04:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12720087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/time_fliestime_dies/pseuds/time_fliestime_dies
Summary: Title suggestions from my friends:'when you piss and your bro is like "gross man"''when you piss on your bro and he is like "hot"'"when pissing on ur fave bro goes way better than either of you could have predicted""sorry god"(I. I wrote this as a joke but I genuinely do believe that Rich and Jake get an apartment together as friends and their relationship turns into a romantic one and Brooke has a pickup truck. )





	The Unexpected Perks Of Mountain Dew Red

**Author's Note:**

> kill me. fuckin do it.

All in all, Richard Goranski and Jake Dillinger were having a pretty great start to their weekend. They'd moved into their new place at the start of summer break a week before, earlier than they'd planned thanks to help from Michael, Jeremy, Christine, and Brooke, who lent them the use of her new Ford F-150 for the occasion.

Friday night they finished unpacking the last of the boxes, and now were celebrating with an enormous six pack of Mountain Dew Red and a freshly baked batch of weed brownies (housewarming gifts from Michael and Christine), and watching Lilo & Stitch in a pillow fort on the living room floor.  
  
About half an hour in, Jake paused the movie, moving to get up, only to be pulled down again impatiently by Rich.

“Cmooonnn man, I gotta pee.” He whined, not noticing the sinister, almost anime-like look in Rich’s eyes.

“Just five more minutes dude, pleease?” Rich begged, looking up at Jake with his best approximation of puppy-dog eyes. “You’re so comfy and I don't wanna move around the blankets and shit.”

Jake sighed and rolled his eyes. Lilo and Stitch WAS his favorite animated movie, aside from Finding Nemo and Castle In The Sky. “Fiine I guess five more minutes can't hurt.”

-

Twenty five minutes and half the remaining bottle of Mountain Dew later Jake and Rich were still inside the pillow fort, high as fuck and completely enthralled in the story, despite the nagging insistence of Jake’s bladder. He shifted under Rich, who had slowly sprawled out more and more on top of him, and winced in discomfort.

“Hey, Rich?” He poked his best-friend-slash-roommate with the tip of an empty Mountain Dew bottle. “Rich. Richard. Richie Rich. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiich.”

Rich shook himself out of his daze (he he sleepee boy), blinking. “Hhmm?”

“Could you, move? Maybe? I reeally gotta piss, man.”

Rich’s eyes widened. “Oh! Uh, yeah, sure thing man-oh, wait, shit this is a really good part, can it wait just like,,ten minutes?”

Jake thought about it. “I mean….I guess?”

“Dude, I would literally…….slaughter a bear for you..you’re so good, dude.” Rich gave Jake’s shoulder a pat before refocusing on the movie

Ten minutes later and Rich was out cold. Jake squirmed underneath him, trying to figure out a way to move without waking his best friend. Rich was snoring slightly, and if he hadn't been so desperate to get to a bathroom he probably would have thought that was way cuter than it should have been.

He sucked in a sharp breath and attempted to wriggle out from under Rich and the mound of blankets they'd piled over them without putting too much pressure on his bladder. He brushed against something and felt himself leak, a warm, wet sensation spreading through his boxers. “Fuuuuuuck.” He whispered, clutching his dick to stop any more bodily product from escaping. “Fuck fuck fuck.” If Rich woke up now he was screwed…..and yet, the thought of Rich seeing him like this, desperate and totally humiliated, was oddly…arousing?

“Noooo no no no no no” he whispered fervently, using his free hand to disentangle Rich’s left arm from around his waist and carefully starting to undo the tangle of blankets wrapped around them both. Piss kinks were CHLOE’S thing, he definitely was NOT into that in any way, and especially not with Rich, his best friend, his buddy, his comrade in arms. It was just his brain short-circuiting from panic, he thought. Sure he was pansexual, and Rich was hot-he untwisted a blanket pulled around his leg-and sure, they might have a lot more chemistry than Jake’s past relationships-fuck he needed to pee-but it just wasn't like that with him, right?

…………………..Right?

“Dude, what are you doing?”

“GAH” He let go of his crotch in surprise and felt another drop escape. He quickly grabbed hold again.

Rich was staring at him with his eyebrows raised, clearly suppressing a smirk.

Jake quickly sat up. “How long have you been AWAKE?” His voice came out higher than he meant it.

“Like…….a minute or so? Why?”

He sighed in relief. Thank god. “Rich buddy I love you but move your ass out of the way.”

“What if I don't?”

“Um. What?” Jake was growing increasingly desperate. The need to urinate was becoming unbearable.

“I said, what if I don’t? You gonna make me?”

And oohhh fuck his voice was. nice. wow. Jake was definitely going to have to revisit these feelings AFTER he made it to a toilet. Or a sink. Or even a potted plant, fuck he needed to pee. “Can you PLEASE just-oh fuck” in his frustration he had let go of his crotch again, and this time there was no stopping the flow of pee streaming out of him. He bolted away from Rich, running towards the bathroom even as his pants became steadily more saturated with urine, leaving a small trail of it behind him as he went.

He’d been in the bathroom for fifteen minutes when he heard a knock knock knock (JAKEY IN THE BATHROOM, JAKEY IN THE BATHROOM WITH A PISS KICK) on the door.

“It's me, Rich. Can I come in?”

Jake sighed and walked over to the door, wrapping a towel around his waist to hide his pee-stained boxers. He opened it a crack.

“You okay?”

“Me?” He said incredulously. “Fuck, I’m so sorry you had to see that, Rich. I shouldn't have been so negligent to my bathroom needs.”

Rich chuckled. “…actually,” He said, a little shyly “I thought it was pretty hot. Seeing you all worked up like that.”

Jake’s brain short circuited. “Really?? You thought it was hot? You think….I’m hot?”

“Sorry, sorry, that was bad timing, I know you don't-“

Jake stopped him. “No. It was fine. I…..dude, I think I have..kind of a crush on you?”

“Brooo holy shit!!”

“Yeah.” He laughed a little. “I'm sorry it took me wetting myself on our good blankets for this to happen, but um. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you……”

“Anything?” Rich asked, voice low.

Jake gave him his best sultry look, which he’d learned from hours spent looking at tiff on deviantart. “Anything you want.”

“Well,” said Rich, unzipping his pants. “I did drink quite a lot of that Mountain Dew myself, so I miiight have a few ideas…”

_____

Jake was sure Michael had not expected his gift to be used in quite as….recycled, a context.


End file.
